character building perspectives
As a creative writer I am well versed in character development. The best characters, fictional or in person, are multifaceted, deep and their personalities are carved out of diverse experiences that give them unusual flavors and compelling stories. I have had a plenty checkered past myself and can finally reconcile the more painful trials, they contribute to who I am.
This all goes right out the window when it comes to my daughter. I am a typical 'spaghetti head' as my dear friend calls women who analyze things beyond recognition. I have given close consideration to each piece of her life, arm chair analyzed the situations and discussed potential experiences and ramifications with those closest to us. All of this because I am SCARED TO DEATH that she will have to face even a hair of the trauma I endured a child, adolescent and young adult.
By now you may be surprised to hear that I am not a clean freak or super anal about every little thing that shapes our days. To the contrary- I am a single-mom who lives in and approaches the world as an artist, entrepreneur and adventurer. We don't have a lot of money, I work freelance as a writer and filmmaker. We have two lovely dogs who lounge around the house that we rent. The house is in what most would call the 'hood' and needs some serious attention inside and out. I'm exploring every connection I have to keep cash flowing-- TRANSLATE - I am making monthly trips to LA and there is no way that pulling weeds or scooping poop is even a remote priority.
The plan is to move to LA by the end of the summer. Xoxa will be starting kindergarten and there is more work there; art, writing, movie making are part of the local industry, not the cool hobbies most only manage to piece together in the Bay Area. We will be moving out by the end of the month. We will be staying with my parents until we head south on I-5 in a U-Haul, in August.
Until we have a place of our own again, we are living with boxes of stuff that will be sold or in storage. For a 5 year old she amazes me. She likes the idea of selling things so we can have money to fund our adventures or to be able to give stuff to families who don't have anything. I also know that all of the changes- roommates moving out, shelves being cleared and Mama going to LA for 4 days every 5 weeks- are taking their toll on her psyche.
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