The Real Answers
We've all asked and answered those polite questions put out there as a means to engage in frivolous conversation. They happen over the phone, when you run in to someone at the grocery store, talk to the receptionist at the pediatrician's office, and even with people close enough to be called 'friends.'
How are you?
How are the kids?
Did you have a nice birthday?
How's your husband, wife, sister, mother?
Are you excited for the holidays, the next playgroup, So&So's cocktail party?
Whether these questions are used to jump start a conversation or there to fill silence with awkward small talk, I'm doubting that anyone expects or wants to hear more than the simple, safe answer of 'Fine.'
If given the real answers I'm not sure many of us would be welcome back to the playgroup. Could anyone really handle the real answers!?
How are you?
Well, I can't seem to lose these extra 30 pounds and my husband and I are very rarely having sex. Work is stressing me out and my mother is coming to stay for three weeks. We have a leak in the roof, the car needs new tires, and the cat keeps peeing on the bathroom floor. You?
How are the kids?
Driving me crazy. The little one won't sleep at night. The oldest is acting like she's 7 going on 30 and asked recently if she would be getting boobs. My son won't take off his Batman cape and the doctor thinks it's time we consult a child psychologist. I tried to take them shoe shopping recently but the clerk asked us to leave the store when my youngest called a pair of clogs 'slut shoes.' How are your little darling?
Did you have a nice birthday?
Sure. My husband was out of town and the kids were all sick with the flu. I hadn't had time to shower for a few days prior to the my birthday, so I just wore my clean yoga pants and a ball cap to the grocery store. The kids asked what we were going to do to celebrate the day and asked if I would make a birthday cake for myself so they could eat it. It was a day of memories, I tell ya.
How's your husband, wife, sister, mother?
He hates his job. She needs a vacation. My sister is getting a divorce and my mother won't quit describing her hemorrhoid issues. How's your family?
Are you excited for the holidays? Playgroup? So&So's cocktail party?
Oh sure. We have no idea how we're going to pay for the holidays. Family is already fighting over where we'll spend our time. I can't wait to go to playgroup so I can spend two hours listening to that awful little kid scream so loud you can hear him across the park. Of course his mother is usually pretty entertaining with her visual show of what new cosmetic procedure she's had done. I really wish I didn't have to go to the cocktail party considering So&So's husband is kind of an ass and always
The real answers are just that...real. They're raw and not always pleasant. They show that none of us are perfect and all of us have answers that cannot be summed up with 'Fine.' But, in a world of pleasant small talk who's actually prepared to deal with anything other than 'fine'?
An Original Deep South Moms Blog Post. ChristinaY is a freelance writer and mother of three crazy kids. She is currently returning to school in pursuit of a PhD. She blogs about her adventures and misadventures at hooey!critic
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