Feature: The Paranoid Guide to Better Living

The Paranoid Guide to Better Living: America's Reading Comprehension Creates Controversy

Author: Curtis Silver
Published: February 15, 2011 at 7:20 pm
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And now your host, Paranoia:

Man I love America. It's not just patriotism, it's a true heartfelt love for America. Right below how much I love our new robot overlords, to right above how much I love anything deep fried in the fat of a dead animal. America rocks. I think what I really love about America is the way that the American public create controversy where there really is none, completely misconstruing an issue and turning into much more than it is.

It's all about reading comprehension folks.

Take the new proposed bill in South Dakota. The bill would "bar prosecutors from pressing charges against a family member who kills an assailant attacking a pregnant relative." This is from the originator of the bill, Phil Jensen, a Rapid City Republican. However, the headline on the Reuters article (and many more around the web) reads:

"Proposed South Dakota abortion law stirs controversy."

Say what now? So first the media fucks with the heads of the ignorant, then the poor reading comprehension sets in and they don't read the rest of the article and suddenly this is an abortion debate. Now, I'll agree — there is a point for a bit of conversation considering abortion. By a stretch, an abortion doctor is "harming" a pregnant person, but generally by their choice. So while abortion groups do find the bill a bit undefined, they know that killing abortion doctors is not the point of the bill.

"I don't believe the intent is malicious," the executive director of NARAL Pro-Choice South Dakota said. "But the potential legal implications of the bill are what make it dangerous. If it passes without an amendment exempting attacks on providers, it could incite violence from individuals who believe their actions will be found justifiable in court."

Now let's go back to the subhead of the aforementioned article: "South Dakota will debate a proposed law on Tuesday that supporters say would protect pregnant women from attack and critics fear could legalize the killing of abortion providers in the state."

Continued on the next page
 
 

About this article

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Article Author: Curtis Silver

Co-Executive, Technology, Entertainment & Politics Editor of Technorati.com. Humorist, cynical, sarcastic, paranoid. Twitter @cebsilver. Brand Ambassador for Gunnars.com. Contributor at Wired.com, Digital Dads.com Email at cebsilver@gmail.com.

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