How to Run a Rush Limbaugh Style Smear Campaign
Rush Limbaugh, the far-right wing drug-abusing radio commentator and purveyor of "truthiness" to his legions of Dittoheads, is the reigning king of running smear campaigns, generally against liberal democrats. But what would a smear campaign sound like when run against him? Something like this I'm guessing.
Rush was, as many of you know, recently married in Hawaii. Of course, we don't have any proof that this marriage is consummated, so who's to say that he isn't a closeted homosexual? The man did ask Elton John to sing at his wedding, and if that doesn't say it all, then what would? People are asking questions, and nobody is coming forth to provide any answers.
As for this marriage, it isn't his first. Those in the know will tell you that this Mrs. Rush Limbaugh is Mrs. Rush Limbaugh the Fourth. That's right, three previous marriages (including one with a much younger, extremely attractive former usherette for the Kansas City Royals) and not a single child from any of those unions.
That's not to say that kids weren't involved, of course. Rush's third wife, whom he met on Compuserve in 1990 while she was still married to her third husband, eventually brought two stepchildren into the Rush Limbaugh household. There was some trouble at some point, because she moved herself and the kids out during a particularly rough Christmas--wait, or was that wife #2 that did the Yuletide Scram?
Perhaps he was with an old flame, Elliot Sanders of St. Louis, who said he had an affair with Rush back when they were both crazy college kids in 1971? It's interesting that this story emerged in 2003, about the time that Mrs. Rush Limbaugh #3 decided to quit the marriage.
But maybe something more sinister is going on here, something involving the kids? What about the bottle of Viagra that customs officials found in his luggage? Did I mention Rush had been on a trip, by himself, to the Dominican Republic? And that the Dominican Republic runs neck and neck with Thailand as "pedophile paradise" for dirty old men who like to hang out with young boys on white sandy beaches?
Seriously, why hasn't Rush just put all these stories to rest? He could quite easily provide us with a detailed itinerary (original paperwork only, no photocopies!) of his golfing, gambling, and other activities, and we'd all be satisfied that he wasn't some kind of sicko.
Follow Technorati