The Top Childfree Myth: We're Selfish
The most common misconception about people who do not have kids by choice is that they are selfish, self-centered people. Why? Because they don’t put kids as their front and center priority in life.
But does this necessarily mean they are selfish? From interviewing and talking with hundreds of people who have made this choice over the last ten years, I say not at all.
Many childfree think beyond themselves and this is reflected in how they live their lives. They are out there contributing to kids, their communities and our world. They are in occupations that revolve around kids. They are godparents, aunts/uncles, they volunteer for local, state, national, and international causes. Like many people, they want to help make the world a better place. They just do it ways other than raising children.
Now parents do have to put their kids first so that’s inherently not selfish. But does this mean parents are not selfish? No. Even parents know there are many ways parents can be selfish, although it's much less talked about.
Parents who are willing to be candid about this say it is selfish to: have another kid just because the last one was not the sex you wanted; try and raise your kid to do what you always wanted to do or be what you always wanted to be; live your life through your kids; put themselves first, at the expense of the kids. Just because they are parents does not mean they can’t be selfish.
It’s high time we admit that being a parent is not the determining factor of whether a person is selfish or not. Just like not having kids is a different choice, the ways in which people can be selfish are just different.
Follow Technorati