The Fur Files - No Such Thing As Perfect, Two Heads in Bed
Madame Floretta “Fern” De Villiers, a.k.a. “Amanda Fox” is an author of erotic fiction and commentary. This is her weekly advice column.
Friday, September 10th, 2010.
Dear Fern,
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. One day, I’m totally in love with my husband and the next, we are NOT friends. Are relationships supposed to be like this?
Sincerely,
Newly Wed in New Haven
Dear Newly,
I want you to imagine for a moment that you and your family (of the future) are on a cross-country road trip. Heading out on the first day, the sky is sunny and bright. In the back of the minivan, the kids are happily listening to their iPods, most likely texting the friends they’ve left behind for two weeks. As you gaze out at the highway – the wind blowing through your hair – you think to yourself, “Wow, this is going to be a really great trip.” And indeed, that evening it is pure familial bliss with the five of you enjoying hotdogs and roasted marshmallows around the campfire before diving into a riotous game of movie and sitcom-character charades. Without a doubt, the holiday is going great.
A few days into your journey however, the weather turns cold and rainy. Instead of camping along the lake, you end up spending two miserable nights in a seedy motel. Not surprisingly, everyone is getting cranky, and it’s during a particularly malicious round of “Go Fish” that your daughter tells your oldest son that his girlfriend is a “fugly biznatch.” Furthermore, your husband has been grilling you all evening over some strange phone call you received earlier in the day. Laying your head down on the rock-hard, motel pillow that night, you wonder if you wouldn’t have been better off staying at home.
The next morning when you awake – much to your utter delight – the clouds have blown over and the air is fresh and warm. It seems as if your vacation might be back on track after all.
In the end, you and your family see and do lots of interesting things. You have made memories that will last forever. Was the experience fun the entire time? Hell, no! Was it worth the effort? For the most part. Would you do it again? Probably not. OK. Bad example, but you get what I’m sayin’.
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