The Fur Files - Grass is Always Greener, Furry Fun, Train Him Up
Madame Floretta “Fern” De Villiers, a.k.a. “Amanda Fox” is an author of erotic fiction and commentary. This is her weekly advice column.
Friday, September 17th, 2010.
Dear Fern,
My husband and I have been married for four years. We have a three-year-old daughter and I am seven weeks pregnant. Even though we got married young – we are both twenty-five – our life together has been great.
Last month however, my husband met some new guys through a buddy at work and now, all he wants to do is party. Now, he says, I am cramping his style. He says that he can’t take “all of this” and that he wants a divorce. He says that he needs to “be free,” to “contemplate life,” to “find himself.”
He hasn’t moved out yet. He just stays out really late. I told him that I didn’t think he was being fair to our daughter or to me, and I told him he had to find his own place. The thing is, he has no money and nowhere to go, but I just can’t deal with the emotional rollercoaster of having him around. Do you think I’m being too harsh?
Sincerely,
He Doesn’t Know How Lucky He Is
Dear Damn Straight He Doesn’t,
Have you ever played poker? Well, it’s like the hand is down to you and your husband, and it’s his turn. He raises you half of his chip stack, hoping you’re gonna fold. You think he’s probably bluffing – that his cards are crap, that he probably has no better than a pair of fours – but of course, you can’t be sure. Conversely, with a pair of aces and trip queens, you are feeling unstoppable. So what do you do? That’s right, you “shove” – you go all in, you push all of your chips into the pile and wait to see what happens.
As in the case with your husband, the question remains, what is he going to do when you shove HIM? Is he gonna fold and stay at home to be the loving father and husband he needs to be, or is he going to play his hand and run off to sleep with every bimbo in town?
You are absolutely, positively bound by the law of all things sacred to call his bluff on this one. Thus, he needs to respect your wishes and get the #$@% out.
Once he discovers that “out there” is really no better than being “at home” – and believe me, he WILL discover that – and he decides to come back, then great. Everyone deserves a second chance. In the words of the illustrious George W. Bush, “There's an old saying in Tennessee – I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on (pause) shame on you. Fool me (pause) you can't get fooled again.”
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