The Fur Files - Fat Wife, No Kids, This Guy's No Joltin' Joe
Madame Floretta “Fern” De Villiers, a.k.a. “Amanda Fox”, is an author of erotic fiction and commentary. This is her weekly advice column.
Friday, September 3rd, 2010.
Dear Fern,
I met this guy and we dated for a while. Then all of a sudden he told me that he needed some time (and space) to contemplate his past. Now we are not seeing each other. I really like him. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Sweet on the Man
Dear Sweet,
According to Wikipedia, “after Marilyn Monroe died, Joe DiMaggio claimed her body and arranged her funeral. For twenty years, he had half a dozen red roses delivered to her crypt three times a week.”
In the movie Cold Mountain, Jude Law’s character battled the perils of the Civil War in an effort to return home to a sweetheart he barely knew.
In the show Family Guy, Lois loves Peter.
What am I saying, Sweet? I’m saying that if you really like someone, there is nothing that can stand in your way of being with that person, nor is there anything you wouldn’t do for them. In the immortal words of Diana Ross, when it comes to love, “Ain’t no mountain high enough…”
What you need to realize is that, in your situation, you AIN’T that mountain. But don’t feel bad. You wouldn’t be the first to try to force a relationship that wasn’t meant to be. You wouldn’t be the first to endure excuse after excuse, and put up with absentee phone call after absentee phone call. You wouldn’t be the first to believe that “thinking about one’s past” actually means “thinking about one’s past”.
Sweet, you seriously need to ask yourself, “What do I want? Do I want to waste my time chasing after someone who is ‘stuck in the past’ (read: probably busy boinking someone else) or do I want to try to find someone who’ll send me flowers for twenty years AFTER I’ve bitten the dust?” I know which one I’d pick.
Granted, it won’t be easy. Letting go of someone you obviously like a lot, is one of the hardest things in the world to do. So is getting over the death of a pet hamster, but trust me, you CAN do it. There is absolutely no question in my mind that you’ll be better off in the long run with someone else.
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