(Randomly Meeting) This Modern Love
Her: (laughing) This has got to be worst invitation for a date I've had since junior high.
Me: I go for the superlative. (pause) So...you wanna come over and kill some time?
Her: (thinking) Sure.
There’s this saying that all of your life’s problems can be divided in health, wealth, and relationships. If any one of them is outta alignment, you’re outta alignment. Which one of the three you place most of your life’s emphasis on says a great deal about what’s important to you - but that's neither here nor there.
Health is self-explanatory. Wealth is a little more complex in that it’s not just money, but what you do to obtain it: schooling, job, exams, etc. Still, both are fairly straightforward and you’ve no doubt spent a good amount of time working on the two in your life.
Relationships are another matter. While involuntary relationships – such as between you and your parents - are difficult, there are any number of licensed professionals that can help you out in this area. I'm not one of them so we won't be discussing the involuntary ones (much).
But what about the ones where you’ve thrust yourself into someone else’s life and they’ve done the same? People aren’t meant to be alone, we’re social creatures by nature and need to be in these voluntary relationships. The ones we call crazy are the ones that disappear to a log cabin for solitude a la the Unabomber.
The pinnacle of voluntary relationships is the relationship between couples. It’s this relationship that seems to weigh on us the most heavily and the one that we’ll be discussing.
Yet, despite being so important, the relationship between men and women (or couples in general) seems to be the one that we just leave to chance most times.
In fact, having a plan to improve your health or wealth seems just sensible. At best, a plan to improve your relationships smacks of desperation; at worst, it seems calculating and cold.
Why is that?
Because we’re supposed to be just good at relationships. But we’re not. According to the latest reliable statistics the divorce rate is “48% for people under 18, 40% for ages 18–19, 29% for 20-24, and 24% for 25 and older."
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