Palin: Unprincipled and Puerile; I Knew It!
Madame Floretta “Fern” De Villiers – a.k.a. “Amanda Fox" – ponders the perplexities of relationships, sexuality and love.
This is TheFurFiles for Monday, September 26th, 2011.
Dear Fern,
I just read the book “The Rogue: Searching For The Real Sarah Palin” by Joe McGinniss and I tell you, I’m shocked. Who knew that Sarah was such a floozy – having sex with an NBA hopeful/black man nine months before getting married, then once married, having an affair with her husband Todd’s business partner, and worst of all, snorting cocaine off an oil drum while snowmobiling with friends.
Sheesh, if I’d had any respect for the woman before (which I didn’t really) I’d have even less respect for her now. What about you Fern? What do you think? Do you agree that she is a no-good, iniquitous, unintelligent nymphomaniac, or are you one of those deviants who’d support someone like her? If so, I’ve lost respect for you already.
Sincerely,
Shaking My Head In Shorterville (Which Is About 110 Miles South East Of Montgomery)
Dear Shaking,
You’re from Alabama? Why am I not surprised?
Now, even though I’ve yet to read McGinniss’ book, I do have a few things I’d like to say...
1. Let’s review. Glen Rice – a 6’8”, 215 pound, physically adept, chocolaty treat (yes, thank you for pointing out that Sarah dared to cross the color line) who probably has very large feet, hands and other key appendages. What woman in her right mind wouldn’t go for that? Especially the chocolaty treat part? Also, nine months seems like twenty years when considering the pre-marital “I need to get me some before I’m stuck having sex with the same person for the rest of my life” timeline.
2. And what’s that other guy’s name? Brad Hanson? As politics is not my area of expertise – relationships are – I had to look him up, and my question is, why go for a guy who looks so much like your husband, Sarah? If you are going to sleep around, why not find someone who’s the complete opposite? You were on the right track with Glen Rice. My suggestion though: Vernon Davis – team captain and “tight end” ☺ for the San Francisco 49’s? He can bench press 480 lbs. and has thighs that could probably snap that Rice guy in half. Need I say more?
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