Embracing Love and Learning to Trust
"Keep Your Distance, Guard Your Heart" was the thought that repeated in my mind. This was the warning given with great clarity and firmness, yet with the kindness and concern of a loving father. That Loving Father was God Himself. At first, I had little clue of the meaning or of the pain that was to transpire until now. I only knew that a warning had been issued and I must listen.
Who and What was it that God wanted me to guard my heart against? Who and What it was that caused so much pain in my heart and mind still merits further analysis. I only know this:
For many years God has been asking me to come out of my hiding place, to venture forth and trust Him, to take a step in faith and fear no one. Had I listened, doubtless not.
I might open the door peer out, take a few steps, reach the path He had carefully and loving laid for me and then run back inside too terrified to proceed.
Why did I do this? Of what was I afraid? I still do not see the complete picture. I only know this much: there were several events that were to occur in my life that caused me to question all I loved and believed.
Yet I know that God used these events as a catalyst to begin to change me — to force me to see things about myself I was reluctant and too powerless to see. I knew also there were things so devastating that caused me to run from those who truly loved me and those who truly cared.
I cannot elaborate on all of these trials at this time because my mind is still processing them, my heart is still dealing with them and they are still too painful to discuss. There were also people and things that happened, that I allowed to happen because of my own foolishness and my lack of self worth. Things that occurred in the both near and distant past that hurt, yet shaped my views and responses to life for better and for worse.
I will tell you this: I am in the process of healing and finding my self worth, which is from God and Him alone. When we truly realize who we are in Him, we are able to see how much He loves us and how He sees us in His eyes. God made us the wonderful creatures we are, but He also made us with a free will. We can either choose to accept God's love and forgiveness from Him and choose light and life or reject Him and chose the darkness and death. The choice is ours, of course, but I think I will choose life.
Bible Verses:
- 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16, New King James Version)
- 9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9, New King James Version)
- 12 Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” (John 8:12, New King James Version)
- 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. (Psalm 139:14, New King James Version)
- 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
- 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct[a] your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6, New King James Version)
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