Feature: TV On The Rocks

GETTING HOUSED: Big Brother Week 5- Rachel's Back, Prepare Mute As Needed

Author: Guillermo A. Fuentes
Published: August 19, 2010 at 7:30 am
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Watch as Rachel gets her ass handed to her by Ragan.

Who knew Lane would be the first houseguest to go viral? After Wednesday’s show, it might not be a happy ending for Lane.  Wednesday was the PoV competition and the return of Rachel.

Rachel? Yes, Rachel. Brendon opened Pandora’s box and was gifted 24 hours in paradise, massages, fine wine, etc. They flashed a picture of Rachel and Brendon assumed she was there waiting for him. Brendon cried, said he missed her, and went through the door. Brendon doesn’t seem willing to do what Lane did on camera, so he really needed to see Rachel.

Rachel wasn’t there. While Brendon was gone, Rachel was in the house for 24 hours, which was spent fighting with Ragan. Some beauties from Rachel, “Do you have to be the biggest bitch because you’re gay?… You can’t even keep a boyfriend… I love gay people and you suck at it because you don’t…” I would love to know how that was going to end. Because you don’t… wear a cop costume? Sing show-tunes? Judge a reality TV competition? What could she possibly finish with?

Ragan’s zings were much better, “Why don’t you get us a drink, Ra-tress… Only thing honest about you are the pimples on your chin.” Buuuurn! I loved this because there was no point. None whatsoever. Sometimes, these shows need that.

Moving on. The PoV competition was hosted by a robot named Zingbot 3000 and if it were a foot tall I would definitely buy one. Ragan dominated the puzzle competition and won PoV. Zzzzzinggggggggg.

I was as relieved as Lane in the shower when Brendon put Matt up in place of Ragan. This guarantees the use of the Diamond PoV on live TV. Brendon’s Neanderthal (it’s pronounced neander-tall!) face will drop and America will see Lane’s O-Face again.

Continued on the next page
 
 

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Article Author: Guillermo A. Fuentes

I think the acceptable limit of exclamation points is three (!!!). You learn a lot about someone by how long they hesitate when asked, "What is your go to karaoke song?" (1. Lisa Loeb "Stay," 2. Anything found under Joel comma Billy). …

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