Dancing With the Stars: Who The Hell Is Voting For Bristol Palin?
This proves once and for all that there's no God. Bristol Palin will be back on Dancing With the Stars next week, stumbling and fumbling through not just one, but two routines, and Florence Henderson will be at home with a cup of herbal tea, watching the proceedings (probably while being attended to by a couple of muscle-bound pool boys, but that's another story.)
Florence's tango on Monday night might have been a traveling train wreck, but if her dance was a train wreck, Bristol's was a planetary implosion. Never have so few steps been performed so clumsily, all while wearing an expression frozen somewhere between stark terror and vacuous incomprehension.
There have been rumors for years that the producers of DWTS might not be playing on the straight and narrow with the voting results. Unlike the Oscars, they don't have the ballots tallied by Pricewaterhouse. So last season, when Kate Gosselin stayed on the dance floor long after everyone with eyesight not requiring the assistance of a white cane could see that she had all the grace and fluidity of a hobbled heifer, there began to be questions of whether the show's bosses were massaging the results to keep ratings high.
This week, those questions are more pertinent than ever. It makes you wonder if there's some group out there like the "Vote For The Worst" folks who tried to make American Idol as irrelevant as possible. Or whether it's just Tea Party conservative fans of her mother or even some organized conservative group that is flooding the voting lines.
Whatever it is, it's not that Bristol Palin is the best dancer or even the most entertaining. It's almost more painful watching her dance than it is listening to her mother speak. One can only hope that Bristol's persistence on DWTS doesn't portend the outcome in more important contests to come.
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