Immortal Kombat
In the month of November, the legend of a legend, reminiscent of other legends, was born.
Immortals, starred the protagonist, Theseus (Henry Cavill). A run-of-the-mill hero.
He had chiseled facial features, he displayed physical dominance over every living thing, experienced one moment of self-doubt before the final battle, possessed more intuition than the oracle whose intuition he was to depend on, screwed an un-screwable woman while poisoned & subsequently bragged about it, and he began his journey under the tutelage of an old sage named Old Man... who would enlighten the youngster as he practiced attacking things... as budding Gods do.
If you hadn't noticed, Immortals was produced by the same producers of the movie 300. So, yes, the movie was visually stunning. Like 300, Immortals was filmed primarily in Sepia. Nobody knows why, but the 300 production team clearly has an affinity for both warfare and old-fashioned photographs.
I almost forgot to mention their obsession with masks.
Hypothetical pitch meeting:
Producer: "We're doing another war film, it'll be shot in Sepia again. It'll be a historical hodgepodge, but what should the focus be?"
Head Writer: "I'm not entirely sure, but it would probably involve evil masks. The Medieval Jabawockee look worked well in 300"
Producer: "but we've already done that..."
Head Writer: "And people loved it."
Producer: ".............. I like it"
Embarrassing resemblance.
Mickey Rourke (King Hyperion) plays a convincing menace, but dressing him as a Venus Flytrap diminished the villainy.
He looked like a Pokemon, which would have been genius if it were intentional.
For this overly masculine-a-movie, you would not expect for there to be so many wardrobe changes. Madonna during concert? Yes. Mickey Rourke? No.
Immortals definitely had some Metrosexual Man-vogue going on, but that made it interesting.
See? King Hyperion is part Venus Flytrap, part Pokemon, and part Jabawockee. A hodgepodge of hilarity. Immortals was as unintentionally funny as it was ultra-violent and action-packed.
For instance:
- The Athenian Army of 57 men faced off against King Hyperion's army of what appeared to be 2,000,000. No big deal. Clever camera angles & film editing killed maybe 1,999,877 of them itself, leveling the playing field.
- The Braveheart moment fell flat on its face. With the sudden & synchronized clanking of their armor, it turned into an Under Armor commercial. They must protect this house.
- Hyperion signals for his men to charge, the Athenian Army lost all desire to fight, Theseus spoke to them, they ignored 89% of his speech, & they instantly regained the courage to fight an army that initially outnumbered them 40,000 to 1. And the rest is history....fabricated, history.
Follow Technorati