One-Year Old Expresses How We Feel About Miley Cyrus, Who, Frankly, Sucks
So chipmunk-cheeked, tarted-up-teen Miley Cyrus performed on American Idol last night, where she also played mentor to this season's contestants. I'd like to blame Miley for the lack of talent this season, but that would be unfair. Clearly that's Simon Cowell's fault. Simon's already got one foot out the door, and this is a subtle attempt to bury Idol before he moves on. But enough on that, back to Miley.
A friend was telling me that they watched Tuesday's AI show and her husband asked "Why is that contestant not wearing any pants?" to which she replied, "That's not a contestant, that's Miley Cyrus." I believe this exchange ended with him washing his eyes out with bleach. And here's my point. Why must Miley be so slutty? She's a Disney product, she's 17-years old and her target audience are girls ages 8 - 15. Her handlers, parents and PR team must be prepping her for a career in porn - because that's clearly the path she's on. Have they never heard of Lindsay Lohan? Ahh, I digress.
On to Miley's singing. During the AI results show, Miley performed "When I Look At You," her latest attempt to destroy my soul. Miley, while fake-playing the piano, hit a note so sour craft services packed up and went home. Even Miley knew it was a mess, which may explain the look she gave once it escaped her mouth (at the 1:37 mark). I suppose I should mention that clearance rack prom formal she wore, but honestly I am just glad she had her ass-cheeks covered for a change. A blessed relief.
It's ironic that Miley was mentoring this season's lackluster line-up of talent. Because the one thing lacking from Miley is talent. I am not the only one who thinks so, the one-year old above has the exact same reaction I have when I hear Miley. Perhaps that toddler can replace Simon Cowell next year. It couldn't hurt. Via Gawker
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